Idiot Motorists & My (2nd) Brush with Death

Those of you idiot motorists out there (and you know who you are) who don't bother to check the crosswalk when turning - be warned! I'm going on a pedestrian jihad!

Last night I was almost run over by one of you, who evidently didn't notice the red light or the little white walkie man giving me the friggin' RIGHT OF WAY. It took you several seconds and your car bumping into me...I guess eventually you would have had to have noticed...to realize there was a living adult human crossing in front of you. Ah, but I'm sure whatever was causing you to rush on a Sunday night -booze, stupidity, lust, some dumb reality show, all of the above - was MUCH more important than traffic safety.

My first brush with death occurred catty-corned to this incident. Jeff and I were crossing the street, me bringing up the rear, when some asshead was turning while looking the other way. I was on his hood before he noticed. Jeff read him the riot act but good! That was actually funny.

The moral of this story is that just because you didn't maim/kill me these two times doesn't mean the next time - oh, and I'm sure there will be a next time - it won't happen. So...be warned, you stupid, brain-dead motorists - the next time I cross the street after dark, I'm carrying a bat!

Nutrition Alert: Eat Your Fiber!

There's a great article in the Post today about the positive effects of fiber. Now, I see friends and coworkers push aside veggies and the like. For shame! One point is that many chronic ailments can be aleviated or totally avoided by getting enough dietary fiber. Your health and well-being is in large part up to you. Read the article for the whole story.

Slow Moving Humanoids

You're leaving work after a long day & hitting the metro to get home, ie, free time. Now, what makes you slow down, to the point of sluggishness, to the point of bovinity, ambling with no purpose, as if you were taking a stroll? Now, I'm tired after work, but I still muster enough energy to scurry thru the metro system and manage not to form a human bottleneck. I manage not to forget that there are people behind me who wish to get home too. I just don't understand it.

Some good things

-Bottled water frozen just to the point of having ice crispies.

-Finding a lucky quarter.

-Chocolate with kirschwasser pockets. Trust me.

-Sequels that don’t suck (see Aliens for further reference).

-Metro workers that wish you a nice day (they exist – who knew?!).

-Clothes Swaps - "new clothes," no guilt.

Movie Review: Blade Trinity

Ok, there are so many things wrong with this movie, starting with the fact that even though they had a huge budget and two solidly entertaining prequels, the makers couldn’t manage to make a decent film. I actually yawned half-way through it. The characters were ½ dimensional. The dialogue was irritating. The baddies were irritating. The Big Bad wasn’t that compelling, big or bad. Kris Kristopherson was wasted, Wesley Snipes looked bored. Can we just say the great washerboard abs displayed by the male Scoobie wasn’t quite enough to make me feel good about the $6.50 I paid to see this movie. I mean, it had some neat fight scenes and gadgets (the Blade boomerang, the fold-up laser batleth). But in the words of my Scooter, it’s sad when a TV show (Angel) with 1/80th of the budget does a better and more creative fight scene. Oh, and the vampires are better too. Yup.

Some movie reviews

Lately, I've watched 2 new films: "Saw" & "Sponge Bob Square Pants."

"Saw" is hyped one of those suspense-morality tales that I love to watch. But while it had some excellent atmospherics (sets) and a potentially interesting premise, it ultimately dragged and fell flat. And the actors, including Cary Elwes, just weren't up to the task. If you want to see an excellent morality tale, with all the atmospherics, well-acted, and totally creepy, watch/rent/buy "Seven."

"Sponge Bob" didn't have any aspirations to be more than it was - a silly, fun, kiddie cartoon - but one with nice messages - going out on a limb for someone else, the value of friendship, believing in oneself. I was entertained.

So effective, it even kills the "mother"...

Evidently, RU-486 is not quite the wonder drug lauded by the pro-abortion types. Hat tip to Michelle Malkin for link to this article.

Update: My adorable Scooter & I had a lively discussion (reads: heated debate) about this article, specifically that (his point) RU-486 is actually safe & effective and that's the fault of the neglectful healthcare folks that women die from RU-486-related ailments. Here's my take:
1. Conceded. Neglect was involved by healthcare professionals in many cases of adverse effects noted in the article.
2. Conceded. My motives in our discussion were suspect: I personally don't want abortions to be any easier than they already are, and I'm not that concerned with dumbasses who die while killing their unborn young.
3. Follow this logic: use contraception as directed, insist your partner uses a condom, no pregnancy, therefore nothing to kill or infect, including oneself. Got it? Anyone with 2 little neurons to rub together understands this and follows suit.
4. For the sake of argument, though, if the manufacturers, abortionistas, and medical establishment are going to market and recommend this product as a safe & effective alternative to surgical abortion, than it should be actually so. Even though neglect was evident with Planned Parenthood, there are risks of serious complications even when administered properly. Does that sound absolutely safe to you? And regarding effectiveness, evidently in only 60% of RU-486 administrations is the full abortion achieved (so says the article). A second drug must be administered to make sure all the little bits and pieces of the destroyed child are expelled. Even then, some women must still undergo a surgical abortion to complete the ghastly task.

You've come a long way, baby!

Oh Canada!

IMAO has a very funny/sick post about Bush's trip to Canada. Go read the whole thing here. You just gotta laugh.

Just when you thought...

...people couldn't get any lower or more depraved, I read this in the Post yesterday. A woman prostitutes her 13-year-old daughter in exchange for free rent and to support her cocaine habit. Ok now, this begs the question, why didn't she prostitute herself instead of her daughter? Not the ideal choice, but it's like, "oh, I have no money for rent because I spent it all on cocaine...let's see, what do I have around here that could bring some street value? Ah! I have it! My adolescent daughter - why men, including my boyfriend - really prefer underage girls to a used hag like me! Brilliant!" This heinous creature is getting only 3 years in prison for her deeds. I myself prefer the "tazing until dead" choice of punishment. Ah well, if there's any justice, maybe she'll be used in prison like she allowed her young daughter to be, only with creative means of penetration. Just saying...

I want to scream...

That's it. I can't elaborate. Just want to scream, then quit. Don't you hate it when you can't just quit because you need to pay rent and buy food? I hate that.

Performance Evaluations

I just finished my annual performance self-evaluation. I detest these things, but, as they say, the sooner you start the sooner you finish. Done. It's such an artificial format and you KNOW there are pertinent things you just can't bring up. Here are a few questions and a few choice responses that did not appear on my self-evaluation:

Q: What can you do to improve your performance and value to the organization?
A: Nothing. I'm perfect as is.

Q: What can you do to improve customer service to the rest of the organization?
A: Nothing. They're a bunch of rat bastards who never met a deadline they didn't break or a requirement they didn't ignore. And let's not even talk about last minute "fire drills"! The real question is "what can the rest of the organization do to prevent my wrath?"

Q: What are your goals for the coming year?
A: To raise enough money to quit this job and go back to school for something unrelated. Hehe, just kidding. No I'm not.

Q: What makes you an asset to the organization?
A: If you need to ask, you haven't been paying attention. Go, be free in your ignorance, but still give me a raise.

Ok, enough already, but if you have some other good ideas, feel free to share them with the royal Us in the comment section.

Ok, it's official...

...I am a dorkus magnus. I went to Spanish class today, then to Fresh Fields...came home, looked in the mirror...and only then did I realize that I had two, very dissimilar earrings on. I ask Jeff, did you notice this? He hadn't until that moment. No one mentioned a thing all day. I am a dork. I embrace this. Otherwise, I'd be mortified. Thankfully, I put on matching shoes and my shirt was on the right way.

Whew! Am I relieved!

Bush won; Kerry conceded. No drawn-out BS, no sore losing. Hopefully no one out there is going to be saying "Bush stole the election" for another 4 more years. Yes, I'm relieved.

Yesterday at the polls was thankfully very calm & as you might expect, well-attended. We arrived there at about 5:50am and there was a substantial line. Our little polling place gets kudos for organization & proper identification procedures. The officials made sure that even in the packed little gymnasium, the lines (A-L, M-Z & cleared for voting) were discrete and proper. Also, the touch-screen machines are a cinch to use with bold, simple directives, even to the blind and caffeine-deprived like me. You can even move back and check your answers on previous screens.

Ok, now, Mr. President, are you going to do something real to secure our borders this time around? Are you going to play "Spending like a Democrat" some more? There are other questions, but I must earn a living. Mewl, mewl, mewl.

I'm really here, I really have thoughts...really!

Ok, we found the missing higher-order remote control deep inside the couch. Funny, I thought I looked there - sly boots!

Speaking of boots, the honey & I will be in line to vote muy temprano tomorrow morning, and if either of us are accosted by some left-wing wack job because we're not the aforementioned and we ARE voting for Bush, you'll become well-acquainted with a steel-toed version thereof in your nether regions. Translation: I do not suffer fools easily, especially violent fools - you are warned.

On the way to the metro this morning I came across something I hadn't previously: a Bush campaigner. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, "do you want to help elect John Kerry." No, fool, I'd rather extract all of my own teeth. But I digress. I thought it was another one of those, but pleasantly surprised. I think I heartened the lad by saying that I was voting for Bush. He seemed relieved.

Anyway, go vote tomorrow & be safe. For that matter, better go in packs!

Quick Stuff

Theresa Heinz Kerry is a horse's patoot. By now, you've heard or read about THK's comment about how Laura Bush never held a "real job." You dems out there - do you really want this woman as your first lady? You know what's obvious? THK has no passing acquaintance with class (as in, classy), just a lot of inherited money & a big stupid mouth. Thank goodness we've had LB as first lady (emphasis on lady)for the past few years & hopefully, for 4 more! Oh, BTW, Susan Konig over at NRO has some choice words about the matter too, so go read the whole thing here.

Hello Again & Random Thoughts

I've been a very bad blogger these last few weeks. It's all due to the evil that's called work. I've been skipping lunch breaks (aka workouts) and working like crazy. I object to this strenuously, but alas my bills just don't go away.

The Horrible: There was an article in the Post today that demonstrates the cheapening of human life in this country. This guy shakes an infant to death and the jury recommends 5.5 years in jail. Well, after all, he wasn't a full-fledged human being, only an infant (can you feel the sarcasm?). Basically, just a slap on the hand. Read on & you'll learn that this same beast permanently handicapped another small child...and has an established criminal record, to boot. But his mom says "he's a good father." Um huh? Read the whole thing and be horrified.

The Unexplained: We had this remote and now it is gone. We still can find other, lesser remotes, but not this main one. Where has it gone? Our apt is only 955 square feet, after all. Yoohoo!

Mewl, mewl, mewl: I must go back to work...

Too Much Stuff...

Ok, so I have training all week, I have to keep up with regular work on breaks, the only Ladies Room on the floor was out of commission this morning & people are just being annoying. I have Accounting class tonight. Class will include quizzes every week. Yeah. I really don't care about all the campaign BS. Looks like we're going to be hearing about Native America & the new museum ad nauseum. I haven't worked out all week.

All will be well, no?

UPDATE: Did I mention that the laptops we're using have micronized the normal viewing aspect, so my eyes are burning holes in the back of my head? And what's more, I haven't taken off my lenses in a week and a half so things are getting a little tight? Namely my temples?

On the good: Big thanks goes out to D., a coworker, for standing guard at the Men's Room while I took an urgently needed potty break. You rock! The Ladies' Room is now operational. Whew!

On that subject, what kind of moron designs a large building with only one of each bathroom per floor?!!

Juicy Pulsating Candy

Two items of note:

-Swiffer products rule!!! Early on Sunday morning (eh, slightly after midnight), I found myself in the midst of a cleaning frenzy. Now, this doesn't happen often, so I just went with it. Using my new Swiffer "mop," I cleaning all tile floors in the apartment - in a matter of minutes! Amazing. I also bought the Swiffer duster & that saves all kinds of time too! Equally amazing to have a mostly dust-free living space! Yes, anyone who has visited our place would undoubted note the inch of dust on everything - but no more!

-Jolly Ranchers Chews rock! I've always been a fan of the hard candy variety, but just tried the chews yesterday at the movies & was totally hooked. Yummy, sweet & tart!

Sept 11 Note

On Saturday, Sept 11th, Jeff and I enjoyed a leisurely afternoon eating yummy hamburgers & french fries, drinking beer & reading. No hurry. Just taking our time.

It might not sound like an appropriate way to observe the 3rd anniversary of the attack, and to be quite honest, we didn't have that in mind when we headed to the Clarendon Woodgrill, but it sufficed quite nicely for us. We enjoyed an afternoon together, unhurried, doing what we enjoy doing - eating, drinking, reading, discussing. This is the sort of thing those bastards sought to destroy on that pristine morning 3 years ago - but didn't.

We rejoice in our - still free - American lives!

My Blogging Sucks...

...ok, just for a while. Work actually expects me to work - go figure! Hectic, crazy, and more hectic.

Did I mention that I'm totally sick of the whole campaign thing and esp. Kerry? Yesterday evening, at my metro station, I was accosted by a Kerry-ite (handing out Kerry bumper stickers) demanding to know if I was registered to vote. I said yes, but I'm voting for Bush. Heh. She promptly scuttled away.

Ok, back to work. Mewl, mewl, mewl.