...is a good way to tolerate the vast number of boneheads and humanoid cockroaches at Whole Foods this Sunday morning...although frankly, if I had waited until say 4pm, the vast number would have increased by a factor of ten. Would you NOT leave your cart smack in the middle of the aisle when you KNOW that you're not the only shopper at this time? Ditto the stroller with your "beloved" offspring? Please pick a direction! And no paying by checks, mkay? Kindly drag your sorry, confused ass into the 21st century - it's called "plastic." It chafes less, you see. Ok, I wasn't REALLY shopping with Marilyn Manson, but he was singing profanities in my ears (yes, I hear voices in stereo! Ok, that's a little nod to the movie Copy Cat, in case you didn't catch it).
I'm SO TIRED of everything:
- school - I'm sick of studying, so very sick & tired and as usual, wondering if any of the time, effort & mostly money is worth it. And it's going at such a glacial pace!
- work - glad to have my job, just not very motivated - and did I mention that it exhausts me? And not in a good way.
- my need for continuous work - i'm pretty much at the point where I'm just going to get a full-time, regular job & continue on at said glacial pace with my education (that is, part-time), or change majors to accounting - at a cheaper school (still at said glacial pace). Gaack. I'm such a rebel. I bet you were thinking - thank God! She's finally turning to a life of crime! Maybe now she'll be interesting!
- My 40-year-old body (Yes! 40! I'm now officially middle-aged!) - so far it's biologically hanging together pretty well despite the alcohol and saturated fats (and hydrogenated foods! can't forget the hydrogenation!) I've imposed upon it. That said, if i'm not going to have any children, my body had better start looking spectacular. No, don't placate me with oh, you look fine. "Fine" just doesn't cut it.
- Meaningless honor societies - I mean, at the last ceremony we were told that much is expected of us - to which I respond [in my head] you mean more than superior grades, a truck-load of money surrendered to this institution and no guarantee of meaningful employment afterward? Did I mention the horrendous two semesters spent in a class wherein the professor (yes! a full PhD!) was completely incompetent? And employment in the field only if I expend a lavish amount of time & energy (lavish because I don't have it) applying and interviewing and showing enthusiam for a job that will involve a significant pay cut just to get my feet wet? Just cut the crap & give me money so I can finish this fucking degree, already. I forked over $35 for the particular honor of listening to that & receiving a crummy certificate in the mail that they couldn't manage to actually package properly - so it was crumpled.
- illegals & their little helpers. in our government(s). - Although I've always had a particular hostility for the open-borders crew on the left, I reserve my truly quality fury for those who call themselves "conservatives" and "Republicans" -and who not only DO NOTHING to resolve the issue, but actively encourage it. Who sign bills that are worse than nothing. Who hamstring any efforts to stop illegal immigration, and demonize those who do do make legitimate efforts in that direction. But, you know, I live a Arlington County, Virginia, which has a motto of "Never an illegal we didn't love and abett," and thus, when I went into Macy's (former Hecht Co.) to do some power shopping (I succeeded at that) - all I heard was Spanish. Except for the token English-speaker, who was mercifully a native-speaker & also strangely well-versed in customer service. I think he was a replicant. So unseemly.
- fat people who think I need to see their stomach rolls. hanging out between their clothes parts. or brazenly displayed with a bare midriff (not joking). or ass cellulite vividly outlined through those off-white stretch pants. who are STANDING right in the middle of the metro escalator, blocking any movement past.
- Chortling Democrats & their chortling (DC) newspaper of record (Washington Post, duh) - just normally - but especially after the Dem win of House & Senate. Keep in mind, folks, that lots of real conservatives were pissed off at those weren't real & decided to teach them a lesson. at all of our expense. thanks. but, more to the point - this cannot be taken as a sign that America has turned liberal, morons, so don't get too excited.
- Islamists & all their widdle supporters. There's always some Moslem who's getting sparked up about something and killing someone (nuns, film-makers, Israelis, etc, etc), blowing up discos, supermarkets, public transportation, flying into buildings, burning cars, performing essential honor killings of their females (not to mention everything else that is imposed on said females), cowing Westerners by their violence, etc, etc. First, I don't care about your religion or your widdle feelings about it. Second, the West should get some gonads asap and put you down like the rabid dogs you are before we're in real trouble. Mkay? So, actually, Islamists, this isn't about you - it's about us & how we will overcome you and anyone who threatens our existence.
Basically, all this is just saying I'm fed up with my life & my total lack of clarity about where I'm going except it can't be more of the same. Also, my DH Jeff is away and I miss him - so there.
I could go on, but I gotta go study some more. Gaack.
Technorati topics: mental breakdown, islam, politics, manners, immigration
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