5 things to say

I had an interesting interpersonal encounter today while walking back from Corner Bakery (lunch). And by interesting, I mean “revolting.” A young black woman (I suspect teenage or early twenties) stopped me and after buttering me up (yes, I know this is a good outfit –I picked it out, didn’t I?), asked me for money for food, because: I’m homeless AND pregnant.

Ok, I’m irritated that anyone would come up to me, a stranger, and demand money. Like, don’t I pay enough taxes to take care of the problem and preclude such encounters? Aren’t I gouged in taxes because I DON’T have children? They have it backwards: I should be paid for NOT having children. But I digress.

I’m not quick in these situations; I never have a snappy come-back until later. Then it’s not so snappy. After all, I may have only 4 brain cells playing bumpercar upstairs, but this was obviously 3 more than the lonely one floating in the dark that this chick was entertaining. Very lonely and understimulated.

Rambling aside, I belatedly thought of a few things to say. Here goes:

1. So where’s the sperm-donor? Why not hit him up for cash? Oh, I know, because he’s out impregnating other stupid girls. So he can brag about all his progeny without actually supporting them.

2. Give me one good reason why I should care what happens to you or your bastard child? And don’t say, “because we need a larger underclass.”

3. What kind of moron throws contraceptive caution to the wind when already homeless? Oh, wait a minute, I’ve answered my own question.

4. Sorry, those funds are earmarked for my new Jimmy Choo’s.

5. Alternately: Sorry, those funds are earmarked for my new boobs.

Ok, I think that’s enough for now. My poor little neurons are tuckered out. If I come up with other zingers, I’ll let you know. And remember boys and girls, responsibility you have to work at, but stupidity is easy and free.