On manners

I've noticed - and have commented tangentially on - people's manners when it comes to social events at people's homes. You've heard my rants on the issues with Book Club and such. Well, pretty recently DH Jeff came up with the idea/concept of having a monthly "Sunday Dinner" like those dinners with family growing up. It was [originally] a chance for Jeff to stretch his culinary skills (as he is the primary cook in our household) and, of course, another excuse for us to be social.

It has been very successful, I think. This last Sunday I took the helm on cooking & was pleasantly surprised (?) how well everything came out. [Sidebar: part of my motivation was a little healthy competition for Jeff and part of it was not wanting to be pidgeon-holed as the booze-hound-in-chief. I am what I am, but who wants that as an epitaph? Also, no one notices all the hard work that went into making the place clean - they just notice when it's not clean] Also, that we attracted a good group and everyone seemed to be having a good time. So far, so good.

But: there were two people we invited who said they would come, who inexplicably didn't show up. There were no phone calls or emails saying they couldn't come, at the last minute. These were two who had done the same thing in the past. You know, at this age - and both parties are around my age - I don't think I should have to remind you to have manners, and yet...it seems beyond some people to exercise a little courtesy.

In the past - and I've mentioned this before - I used to be that way. I'd never give a solid response - just "maybe" and then if if I said yes, sometimes not show up. And then at some point I had an "Aha! Moment": these people don't have to invite me AT ALL and here I am treating them and their hospitality so casually, so dismissively. NOT ANY MORE. Now I'm usually the first to RSVP. No, you won't have to wait for me. I appreciate that you bothered to invite me to your whatever and understand that puting on even a small gathering involves time, effort, planning and yes, money. If I have no scheduling conflicts, I'll (now we'll) be there & will bring some token offering (wine, mostly).

Evidently, some folks can't grasp this concept...and are probably miffed when I bring it to their attention. Well, it's not all about you - do you get that?

Enough, already. I want to thank all of those who do have manners, who do bother, and show how they value our hospitality and friendship - it's most certainly not lost on me!