A Word (or Confession) on Procrastination

Warning:  Long Post!
For the longest time, I've been simultaneously career-wise coasting and angry/frustrated at my lack of career satisfaction.  I've come to the conclusion that 1) given my interest in forensics and 2) my lack of a science background, I must go back to school as an undergraduate (full-time) and get that academic background, then proceed to either grad school or medical school to specialize and/or get a job in the field to acquire the work background end of it.  So far, so good. 

What's the problem, you ask?  I mean, I already have an undergraduate degree & graduated with honors.  I did well in a recent basic level Biology class.  OK, so what's the what?  Well, it's this little thing called procrastination.  Completing the applications is no biggie...except for the essay and recommendations.  It's partly about representing myself & my goals...perhaps that I doubt admissions staff will consider them "worthy" - not enough frills like community service, not the naive optimism of an 18-year-old, etc, etc.  It's partly because as in all my writing, I agonize over every little word.  It'll take me a week of revisions to finish a one-page essay.  And the recommendations?  I just hate having to ask people to say nice things about me.  So I put off the whole thing, and put it off, and put it off.  Meanwhile, I'm exactly where I don't want to be:  getting older, dragging my ass to work every day, just about as motivated as you'd expect. 

There's another task about which I've been procrastinating for about a year.  In our apartment building there's a front-desk guy, David Young, who has always been super:  pleasant, courteous, helpful in general & especially with a very specific problem we were having with our next-door neighbor last year. Now, I keep telling myself I must write-up a commendation letter to David's supervisor, singing his praises.  I've even drafted a letter on my laptop.  So, it's there, waiting to be completed.  No biggie.  Yet, the thing is not done.  Now, this is just plain laziness.

Why did I choose to write ad nauseum about this problem today? 
a.  Self-therapy to examine one of my many issues
b.  To talk ad nauseum about something, in print
c.  To light a fire under my lazy, self-doubting buttocks
d.  To share with others what must be a common malady
e.  All of the above.

If you answered "e," you would be correct; however, "c" is the primary reason.

Remember (and I must too), you can't finish something if you don't start it.  That said, don't let it go too long before jumping in again.  Yeh, that and self-doubt keeps you in the parking lot.

Update 7/29/04:  Well, I shamed myself into action:  I finished the commendation letter and delivered it! Yeah!  One less item of guilt.